University of Richmond Chaplaincy to offer Blue Christmas Service
December 11, 2006
While many people welcome the holidays with gift-giving and celebrations, others grieve, reminded of lost loved ones, failures and burdens.
Few organizations offer formal support of people dealing with sadness during the season. But University of Richmond Associate Chaplain Kate O’Dwyer-Randall, an experienced grief counselor, wants to change that by holding a non-denominational worship service specifically addressing holiday sadness.
Her Blue Christmas Service, Dec. 19 at noon, seeks to assure people that feeling sorrow during the holidays is okay—especially after a recent tragedy—even though others are joyous, O’Dwyer-Randall says.
Instead of the usual Christmas carols, music of respect and hope will be played. O’Dwyer-Randall’s message will draw a parallel between the process toward hope and the three wise men, who walked through cold and darkness toward the light of a star.
The university’s Chaplaincy has invited people the staff knows are experiencing grief this holiday season, but anyone is welcome to attend. O’Dwyer-Randall emphasizes, however, that her goal is get the right people, not necessarily many people, there. The hardest part is for people to admit that they’re sad at Christmas, she explains.
“We always think about joy and family during Christmas. What if you’re depressed? What if you’re going through a divorce? What if this is the first holiday after you’ve lost somebody?” she asks.
“It’s really healing to walk into a service with some acknowledgement that you’re not feeling happy, but that where you are is okay,” says O’Dwyer-Randall, whose brother died suddenly two years ago. “You’re allowed to feel sad and you’re not alone. We want to remind you that there’s hope after tragedy, too.”
“If you’ve ever lost somebody, all that gets heightened at the holidays,” she says. “The missing chair at the table is more visible than at any other time.”
Because grief is often recognized visually, the service will employ imagery, demonstrating prayer through modern dance. The non-traditional service also will use readings from Christian texts and passages from literature. The Rev. Dr. Daphne Burt, the university’s chaplain, and faculty, staff and students will participate in the service, which O’Dwyer-Randall wants to “ignite hope” in those attending.
Bettie Clarke, associate director of dining services, will assist during the service, because she recognizes the importance of keeping faith and helping others through difficult times.
“I’ve experienced a lot of personal loss in my life, and I get comfort by offering comfort to others,” she said. “You can really feel lost and alone during the holiday season.”
Gardner Campbell, the university’s director of teaching, learning and technology, will also participate and agrees with Clarke.
“Great pain always makes one feel alone and outside the human community while life goes on,” Campbell said. “Great pain during Christmas makes one feel even further outside that community. It seems the whole world is celebrating happiness, and it’s painful not to share in that joy.”
Campbell said that despite some difficult holiday seasons following his parents’ deaths, he remains upbeat.
“I hold onto the joy in large part because of family and loved ones who were able to minister to me,” he said. “I want to give some of that ministry back if I can.”
O’Dwyer-Randall hopes to hold the service earlier in December next year so more students can participate before going home for winter vacation.