Author's note: The novel Mother Belle is narrated by Lance Bancroft, a man in his late twenties who has never used his Bachelor's degree in psychology, which he doubts is of any consequence. He is in the throes of a divorce and custody battle over his baby daughter after having moved from Indiana to Georgia so his wife, Sherry, could attend a master's degree program. In Indiana, Lance was employed as a crop duster and has opted to work at Atlanta's Hartsfield International Airport rather than use his psychology degree. In this story about the New South, Lance befriends an older man named George who himself is struggling with connecting with his troubled, adult daughter. Lance becomes embroiled in the life of George as well as his own attempts to stay in his baby's life.
Chapter 3
We close up the apartment; George wants me to turn the dead bolt three times to make sure it's aligned securely. He makes certain his boat-of-a-SUV is properly locked up. He almost begs for me to listen to the nifty chirp his key chain makes when the doors are all securely battened down. I am getting less and less patient. He says with a look of bewildered astonishment on his face, "Can you believe what they can do these days with those microwave chips?"
I take the few boxes from the back of the truck and try to set
them on the doorstep, but George won't have it. Then I try to
tell him I'll just put them inside the apartment, but he insists
that I place the junk, which most people wouldn't pay two dollars
at a garage sale for the whole kit and caboodle, inside his dealer-ordained,
vehicular equivalent of a bank vault. This activity allows George
to once again show me his high-tech key gizmo and honestly, I
am starting to wear down. While George has helped take my mind
off what I have come to conceive as the equivalent of legal boils
seeping over the heater vent in my new place, I can now feel his
same presence bringing me back down to the reality of my upheaved
life. I have to be at work in Atlanta in less than two hours for
the four to twelve shift, and I still have to make the crucifying
drive with George from my place to his subdivision in Austell,
a twenty minute drive, at the least.
We get into the truck as George mumbles something about a newly
added item in his house. I can hear the words "Alice"
and "Laura" and something about a wall and a photograph
and his mother, but my mind is now too mired down in the worry
of Marie to make much sense of what he is yammering on about.
Inside the truck cab, with no place for me to go hide, George
is still rambling. He says, "Is that okay?" He is looking
at me as if I need to give him permission to pass through some
guard gate. He arranges his brow queerly, repeats his question.
"I said, is that okay Lance?" I shake my head yes, but
then think twice about it. There have been a few times where I've
agreed to something George has asked of me only to wind up and
find myself a few weeks later at one of his union ticket raffles
where I've offered, unbeknownst to me, to be the dope sitting
in a dunk tank.
So I say, "Now, what George? What did you ask?" He smiles
as if only he can understand such a forgetful young man as me.
He says, "I asked if it would be okay if we picked up mother
on the way? You know she lives just right off Cobb Parkway, at
Simon's Personal Care Home. I want her to see it too." I
don't ask what the "it" he is referring to is, and contrary
to what George assumes I know, I am unaware of just exactly where
it is his mother lives. I am sure he has told me so on a number
of occasions, but right now I am not interested in the location,
only the added time it will take to pick up the poor creature
that had the unfortunate experience of pushing such a big lunk
from her loins.
I stumble, "No, it's not a problem. I mean, sure, we can
pick her up." George gleams, sits back into the bench seat
of the pickup as if he can only now truly enjoy the ride. We backfire
out of the parking lot and sputter up to the four-way stop to
Atlanta Road. At the blinking red light George leans over and
tries to turn on the receiver. He says, "Lancie? Is it all
right if we get some tunes going here?" It's another attempt
at trying to sound hip and with it. "I like that station
where the two fellas are always razzin' each other 'bout how the
other is always screwing up." I don't have the faintest idea
of who or what he is talking about. I never use the radio in my
truck for precisely the reason George is trying to get us on the
same FM wavelength now. I prefer the CDs of Martin Zellar and
The Smiths over the irritating, adolescent hogwash George is now
having trouble poking into fruition via the digital controls.
The receiver in my truck is worth more than the truck itself.
When he can't seem to get the radio to make him appear wise to
the scene, he says, "I had that dealer write right in the
sales contract that he'd put me in a radio with knobs. I said,
'listen here greenhorn, I want a radio in that van.'" He
pauses, trying to name what it is he drives.
"Or whatever you call it. Truck, I guess is what it is,
anyway, I said, 'I want a radio I can tune without having to go
to computer school to learn how to operate it." I can't remember
seeing the radio in George's SUV but I make a point of it to look
when I get the chance; I can only imagine the ancient piece of
crap the kid at the dealership had installed in the old guy's
van or truck or whatever you call it. I feel sorry for George
as I think about the jokes the salesman must've made at his expense
as some burnt-out auto-techie installed a dinosaur of a receiver
into his newly purchased SUV.
I lean forward at the same time George rares back from the radio,
out of the corner of my eye, I can see a slight crease of defeat
at the corners of his mouth. Beaten, he goes like a lump back
against the seat. I don't allow myself to shake my head. I punch
the neon buttons until I can hear the talk show I assume he is
referring to. He almost claps his hands when the two bickering
voices begin to issue forth from the static.
He says, "You mind turning it up?" The request takes
nearly all of my patience. George has again worn me down. I poke
the volume up a few notches, only to see a glimpse of George still
straining to hear, a look of rocky effort in his squinted eyes.
At least I hope that's what he's straining from. Among all the
other personal tidbits George has so graciously bestowed upon
me there is one I hope is not the cause of his strained affect.
He's told me that from time to time, which in George speak means
as frequently as daily, he encounters bouts of, oh shall we say,
gassy disturbances that he claims can hit him like a ton of bricks.
"Anywhere, anytime Lancie and I mean big time."
As I steer the truck around slow moving semis of pine logs, a
never-ending road hazard here in Georgia, I nonchalantly try to
get a gander at George to see if I need to make a quick pit stop
for him so neither of us will be any the wiser, but he looks okay,
fine even, as I race to beat a yellow light going, once, twice,
three times a lady. We zoom through the intersection; George is
smiling at the guys blabbering on the radio but manages to comment
on my daredevil antics. "You little pooper you. You could
of got us killed. Gaul-lee!" The first part of the comment
seems as if he has once again been inside my head; only a few
moments ago I thought he was the one worthy of such an excrementally
appropriate title.
We take a few more daring turns and illegal lane passes, through
a winding side street in a neighborhood that looks remarkably
similar to the one George lives in and I've left behind. At the
last light, before we turn left into the personal-care home George
has said he hated to leave mother in but had no choice, he speaks
up, tries to turn down the radio, and asks me for some help. The
truck cab is quiet now.
"I guess I should let you know Lance that mother is a little on the senile side." He looks at me as if to apologize, like he's sorry he can't do something about aging, fix it or annul its effects. George thinks he should have an answer for everything that has seriously gone wrong.
"Okay George, but aren't they all. I mean don't most of the folks there have a few mental stumbling blocks." I say it as a statement but George can't hear it; he thinks I am asking him a question, which is fair, but as soon as the words have left my mouth I want them back. There is nothing more George enjoys than a person willing to ask his opinion on family affairs, on questions of the heart, or for that matter, on any subject whatsoever.
He says, "Well, yes, most of the elderly there do have problems remembering first names or their wedding anniversaries (another chunk of bait tossed in the pool of Lancie to tempt a bite) but what I am talking about here is more than that. Mother is diagnosed with old-timers." He stares at the light along with me, makes his face scrunch up with the feigned effort of trying to give me a more intellectual, technical explanation for his mother's problems.
He says, "Let me put it this way Lancie, you could say mother
is a few bricks short of a full load." At first I think he
is talking about his confessed back door problems, that the brick
analogy is something that runs in the family, but I force my mind
to pay attention and realize he is talking still about her mental
functions. I turn left into the parking lot, a yellow power company
truck honks at the way our two vehicles miss one another by only
a hair.
After I park the truck and turn off the key George says, "Lancie
could you stay here and I'll go get her?"
I am not sure why George is asking me if this is all right with
me; it's his mother. Does he think I could simply walk into the
throng of senior citizens and pick out the old woman from the
masses because I know her son?
I say, "Sure George, I'll stay here. I mean I'd love to go
give it a whirl and see if I can pick mother Kramer out of all
the others, but somebody has got to stay and listen." I point
to the radio.
George laughs, unsure of himself, and then tells me, "No,
I mean, could you pull the truck up to the back door?" Now
he's the one pointing. "She won't come out the front."
He pauses and looks at me, his bulbous hand on the door handle,
ready and poised to go get mother. After a few moments of George
looking at me warily I say, "What are you talking about George?"
"It's just that mother is not all there, like I said, and
she, well she may, at first that is, try to fight me." I
raise my eyebrows, and surprise myself by non-verbally asking
George to spill his guts. The guy will tell me more than I want
to know about his ass problems with the drop of a hat but now
is holding back, ashamed or scared to make me privy to the fact
that his mother has trouble leaving her home. He takes my goading
cue, swallows a deep breath and blurts out: "Well last time
she thought I was Hitler." He says this with relieved frankness;
the release allows him to gather the energy to go on.
"She thought I was Hitler and she..." He stops, takes
another deep breath and lets the ugly cat out of the bag. "She
offered me sexual favors if I'd spare her from the death chambers."
I did not need to hear this, but George has taken the plunge;
he is pulling up on the door handle, leaving the truck with me
spell bound inside. Before he slams the door shut he says, "It's
nothing really. The nurses say it's just her darkest fears rising
to the surface." He looks at me for assurance, but I can't
help him. I am trying to get some awful images in my mind's eye
to retreat. And just like he is so good at doing, George seems
to loosely know my thoughts. He says, "You know the mind
is a funny thing." He leaves. It is a funny thing, I say
in my head, as I watch monstrous George, Mrs. Kramer's only boy,
lumber across the parking lot toward the glass sliding doors of
the home. I conclude he must look like a mountain man coming through
the doors to most of the old people inside. I imagine a few of
the little shriveled up ladies screaming and pointing as he barges
in the entryway. In my head they are crying, "Good Lord,
Good Lord Almighty. It's the devil in red plaid himself come to
take us to hell!"
The brief movie snippet in my imagination has helped keep me from
thinking about Marie and the foul papers lying on top of the register
back in my empty new pad, but now I have a silent truck cab to
deal with and while it makes me wonder about my own sanity, I
begin to get antsy for George and his crazy, old-bird of a mother
to pile into the front seat. It hurts to visualize Marie as a
name on a legal document. She is so much more; she is not just
a "minor child" as the papers read.
I feel hot around the collar of my neck. I start up the truck
and rev it good a few times; I can see the hot exhaust billowing
out from the tail pipe into the cold afternoon air. I have come
to like the weather in Atlanta with its few really cold days of
the year amounting to no more than a full week at most, but there
has been an uncommon string of bitterly cold days which seem to
have no end in sight, according to George that is, which I've
also come to rely on in matters of weather and the price of nearly
everything under the sun.
I pull up next to a taupe colored door with no handle on the outside;
it's close enough to the dumpster that I begin to wonder if there
might be another back door George had been talking about. I look
at my watch and get an instant ache of dread when I see I will
have to go straight from George's place to the airport for work.
It means I will have to spend my entire shift worrying about what
the legal papers really say; I'd wanted to go back to the apartment
and get them so I'd be able to try to make sense out of them on
my breaks at Hartsfield, but now I'll have to go cold turkey for
eight hours, go back to George's after I get off at midnight,
and pick him up so he can get his SUV. He'll act as if he doesn't
want me to bother when I leave him there at his house with his
mother, but then will have me paged at work (I gave him that number
too) and ask me pretty please will I please swing by the house.
As I wait, I wonder if he's told me if his mother stays over night.
I make myself try to recall past conversations or rather the past
meandering, zigzagging familial philosophical waxing and waning
George does with me to see if I can pick up on some fragment about
him and his mother's sleep-overs. The Hitler/sexual favors comment
sneaks into my brain and I hate myself for what I am so easily
able to do with it.
I am about to back up the truck and circle the building to see
if there is indeed another back door hidden somewhere, when I
see the door I am parked beside ease open. George peeks his fat
head out of the ever-widening crack. He looks both ways and then
gives me a thumbs up. Are we kidnapping this old woman? Does George
even have a living mother? Has he completely lost it from fantasizing
about the good ole' days with his dead wife Alice and is now so
goofy he is willing to snatch up any woman no matter how old to
fill the void? And finally, will this kidnapping not do me any
great justice when it comes to a custody hearing? Will my accomplice
role in the theft of an old woman to soothe the pain of a widowed
aging husband endear me to the judge or further serve to make
me out to be the villain in Sherry's daytime soap opera? These
thoughts are like piranha at the lobes of my consciousness as
I try for the life of me to figure out why George is not moving
from the door but continuing to give me a contrived thumbs-up.
I peer out at him from behind the windshield, trying to get him
to do something. Then, like a surprise he is shy about showing
me, he pulls from behind him, into the gray dull light of January,
a small, frail thing of a woman, dressed in a poodle skirt and
a matching fuzzy angora sweater, wearing in her chromatic hair
a pink and lavender bow so big it seems to make her head fall
forward from the sheer load of it.
George ushers her gently to the truck door; I reach over the seat
and pop the handle because it sticks from the outside. He again
sticks his tremendous head inside a door, this time saying, "She
doesn't usually dress this way Lancie. The good ladies in there
at the help desk threw them all a 50's style party with costumes
and everything. They don't get to keep them."
He looks at me with water in his eyes from the cold, as if I am
supposed to be impressed to the point of clapping. The old woman
patiently stands behind him as a furry but benign figure; she
doesn't seem like she could even muster up the strength to talk,
let alone get her speech ordered to the point of seducing what
she thinks is evil incarnated, but that happens to be her very
large son.
"George, aren't you the one from the 50's. She should be
dressed as a flapper if they're trying to bring back memories
of her youth. In the 50's she had to be worried about you fornicating
with a loose girl and disgracing the whole Kramer family."
I think what I've said is funny, the first time since I got the
papers that I feel on top of my game with George and I am not
counting the shower curtain scare. But he looks displeased, tries
to shield his mother from my vulgar talk; it's the Alice in him.
After he doesn't seem to want to "get a kick out of me,"
something he says every time I mock or poke fun at his expense,
I realize I need to hurry this abduction up, if indeed that's
way it is.
I say, "You gonna let momma in or just stand there and hope
the cold air will keep her from making you propositions."
He frowns at me in a way I know is how his wife did when he sipped
a beer or told an off-color joke, which is to say it contained
some awful word like "pee-pee" or "derriere."
George moves aside, goes behind his mother and begins to verbally
coax her into lifting one leg up. When the talking doesn't seem
to work, the old woman as motionless as the embroidered black
dog on her sunken chest, he starts lifting her limbs for her.
From where I am sitting, the poor creature appears as if she is
a marionette in a poorly done show: after all, you can see the
puppeteer clearly, and he is obviously jerking the wrong strings
if what he wants is to get the doll to look as if she really is
getting into a truck.
After several attempts George manages to get mother into the seat,
but it's me who has to ever so gently pull her over so she is
positioned squarely in the middle of the truck. George climbs
in and we are off, out of the parking lot and back onto the roads,
heading to his place to get me a mattress and show mother "it."
As I drive, George is holding her head with his mighty hand; she
has quickly drifted off to sleep and is now leaning on his shoulder
snoring, or rather, making shallow clicking noises in and about
her chest; I glance at her curled figure. It's for sure, the noise
is coming from under the doggie some place.
I do a double-take now. George sees me trying to figure out what
I am witnessing; mother's hair is coming away from her head. I
can see the under weaving of the wig. There is a two-inch space
between her downy head and the meshy material of the pinkish colored
piece. George whispers, "It's a wig Lancie."
I keep driving, but slower than what I had when we were en route
to pick her up. The truck seems cold so I flip on the heater.
Mother stirs when she feels the waft of warm air under her skirt.
She stops making the clicking noise and snuggles up to her son
and I wonder if in her failed, bald head she is back eighty years,
in a chair with her own daddy. Or if she has ceased to dream,
saving all the drama and weirdness of sleep for her next awake
stint, which, according to my watch, will be right about the time
we hit George's driveway.